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Episode 6 - Bowanga Bowanga
Time-length-icon 1h 10m
Plays-icon 158
Publish-date-icon March 16, 2012
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Something Weird This Way Comes... is a movie podcast about campy and exploitation films from the 30's - 70's. Join our intrepid hosts Roo and Moe as they discuss the African Safari madness of...

Bowanga Bowanga

Brace yourselves, folks, you ain't never seen a jungle film like this…. 
Traipsing through 'Africa,' Kirby and his pal Count Sparafucile (yes, that's his name) marvel at all the stock footage they encounter (including a sexy jungle girl and her pet gorilla who quickly disappear from the plot before things turn Forbidden Adventure on us) when Great White Hunter Trent stumbles out of the brush, half-dead and babbling: 'Ulama, Ulama… White Sirens of Africa!'

What's that? A tribe of white women in Africa? You betcha. And not just any ol' 'white sirens' but Fifties Glamour Girls in skimpy jungle bikinis! Trent tells them how and where he encountered a few of the girls and pretty soon all three are soon heading for the rocky plateau where the Ulama roam. Getting there involves the use of more mis-matching stock footage. So much stock footage, in fact, that it often feels like you're watching twelve jungle films at once. There are the obligatory stock shots of topless African natives as well as shots of any and every animal the editor could toss into the mix: leopards, hippos, baboons, deer, owls, and even a squirrel. (What, no polar bears?)

Once atop the Ulama plateau, our three he-men are promptly captured by the tribe whereupon the film turns into an Amazonian fantasy gone mad. All the women are not only white and in their twenties, but they all look like strippers in animal skins: 'What a charming bunch of chicks!' After a hilariously un-choreographed Ulama dance number, the Queen (DANA WILSON, who has lots of teeth and talks as if all of them are loose) welcomes them: 'Ulama like strong white man! Queen want strong white man!' In fact, because the Queen can't decide which strong white man she wants, she decides to force the men to fight and take the victor as her hubby: 'Queen make strong man husband! Fire God take weak man! Queen take strong man!'

But no, no, the men don't fight themselves, they fight other women. Sort of like a Ulama wrestling match. Kirby goes first, battles a nice tall blonde, and is beaten up like a little boy. The comic-relief Count has previously been deemed too inferior for a mate, which leaves Trent, who wins both his bout and the Queen's hand in marriage: 'You husband for Queen!' Kirby and the Count are quickly slated for sacrifice to the 'Fire God' (some kind of smoke-belching crevice at the base of a cliff) which greatly upsets the other Ulama: 'She no burn nice men! We take nice men! We get husbands too!' How will this all be settled? You guessed it: by a wild tribal catfight….

Wow. Jungle cheesecake has always been a pop-culture icon, but seldom has it been shown upon the screen as deliriously as it is here which turns the Battle of the Sexes into pure cheesecake madness. Make no mistake about it: Bowanga Bowanga (also known as Ulama White Sirens of Africa, Unashamed Women, and Wild Women) is nothing less than the Single Greatest Jungle Movie Ever Made.
Digitally remastered from a mint Ulama-lovin' print. -- Mr. Daddy-O

Come listen to Moe and Roo discuss how much we absolutely LOVE it! If you like camp and silly movies join us on Facebook, you won't regret it! An Extra special thanks to Something Weird Video for supplying movies for episodes and for generally being an amazing company and an inspiration to my movie viewing habits - Moe

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